30 Lessons From My First 30 Years
Well, I hit the big 3-0 last Tuesday, December 8th. That’s right…about 1/3 of the way through my life, give or take. It came and went pretty uneventfully, as I don’t tend to make much of a deal over birthdays. I went for some Mexican food and had some drinks and laughs with good friends.
So today is a little something different. I was thinking about some good lessons I’ve learned in life. We all have our own and here’s my version of 30 In 30. There won’t be any big time nutrition stuff or research in here, so if that’s what you’re looking for, skip this post. Otherwise, read on.
- Discussing nutrition in social gatherings is akin to discussing politics or religion. People identify closely with their food.
- Don’t neglect your health and fitness to pursue monetary success.
- If you’re in a bad situation (be that job, relationship, or otherwise), first take steps to fix it. If it’s beyond repair, do whatever it takes to get out of it. Life is too short to be miserable.
- Maintain a few close friendships. I’d rather have 2 or 3 close friends than 50 mere acquaintances.
- On that note, relationships (with friends and significant others) come and go. People change and grow. Enjoy the time you have with people and let it go when the costs to maintain it outweigh the benefits. Practice non-attachment. Read “The Way To Love” by Anthony De Mello.
- Apologize quickly. Forgive quickly.
- Let it go. It’s probably not worth dwelling on.
- Call your mom.
- Don’t let anyone crap on your dreams…most people are offended if you want to follow a different path (even if you aren’t an asshole about it). And don’t be an asshole about other people’s dreams either.
- You make your bed, you lie in it. I’m not talking about sleeping.
- Live in the present. The past is done and you can’t control the future. Plan for the future. Aim for goals. But don’t miss the present while planning for whatever is next.
- There are very few facts. Most “facts” are just individual interpretations.
- You can’t get rich quick, short of robbing a bank or hitting the lottery. I don’t recommend robbing a bank and your odds of hitting the lottery are slim (0.00000000512%)…any number that close to zero might as well be zero. I suggest you just get to working hard.
- Find a hobby you enjoy. Don’t worry about making money at it. Just have fun with it.
- Music trumps a movie any day of the week. Rock, classical, jazz, rap, or techno. Doesn’t matter…music, hands down.
- Don’t spend your life doing things you don’t enjoy. Sure, we all have to attend the occasional wedding or funeral, but if you find yourself being sucked into other people’s idea of fun constantly and it’s not yours, say no. Say it often.
- Take 90 minutes to watch these two videos: Steve Jobs Commencement Address at Stanford and Randy Pausch’s last lecture. If you’ve seen them, watch them again.
- Eat high-quality food. If you drink coffee or alcohol, drink high-quality alcohol, high-quality beer, and high-quality spirits.
- If you’re depressed, there’s probably a reason other than chemical imbalances. Fix it.
- Meat won’t kill you. Neither will butter. Donuts won’t help though.
- Just because you get older doesn’t mean you have to age. Here I am, 30 years old, as fast as I was at 18 and stronger, fitter, and healthier than I’ve ever been. I don’t buy the nonsense about how it’s all going to catch up to me at 30 (or 35 or any other age). Things change as you get older: recovery takes longer, injuries are more detrimental, and you can’t abuse yourself like you could at 21. That doesn’t mean you have to turn into mush.
- Never stop learning. Step outside your comfort zone as often as possible.
- Set goals, re-evaluate on a regular basis. Spend most of your time doing things that progress you towards those goals.
- You work for you, regardless of who your employer is. If the demands are unrealistic, remember that you work for you. On that note, use all of your vacation days. They are there for a reason. Don’t let yourself be guilted out of benefits.
- Don’t concern yourself with other people’s vision of your success.
- Your health is the most important thing you have. Stay healthy and you’ll be better in every area of your life. Don’t sacrifice health for materiality.
- Before you give advice, listen. Listen some more. Keep listening.
- Selfishness is a virtue. Be selfish – take care of yourself first.
- A relationship or career can’t make you happy, but it can make you miserable.
- I hate to be cliche and quote a movie, but Andy Dufresne might’ve said it best: “Get busy livin’, or get busy dyin’.” Stop feeling sorry for yourself…no one else does.
So there you have it, thirty things I’ve learned in the past thirty years. Okay, to be truthful, I learned most of them in the last 5 years. Who knows what I’ll come up with in another decade.
About Scott
Scott Kustes loves to cook and loves to eat. He started Real Food University to help you get maximum enjoyment out of the meals that you eat. To find out more about how he has rebelled against the fast food culture and counting calories or carbs, join the Real Food Revolution.
29 Reader Comments
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THIS IS A PERFECT LIST! And couldnt have come at a better time for me. I also could not have written a list for myself any better. Crazy!I can’t believe you stuck that quote at 30. That is my all time favorite quote! It literally changed my life when I watched it during a very hard time in my life (last year).Happy Birthday! I turn the big 3 – 0 in a few months myself.
I agree – this list rocks! I cannot disagree with anything on it – thanks for the reminder Scott!
What an absolutely great list. I could have written it myself. I made a huge transformation this past year and seriously this list sums up the way I live now.Thanks for sharing!
Good show. Don’t usually get much out of other peoples internet “lists” of whatever. This one is pretty golden, each one.
Happy B-Day Scott.Solid post, it will be on my blog near future.Thanks and enjoy the day,month, year etc.Jay
Great list!I’m thirty as well and this really rings true with me:”…I learned most of them in the last 5 years.”I feel like a totally different person than I was just a few years ago.
Great stuff Scott. Don’t let it stop at 30 though – if you have more – keep it coming!
Happy birthday, Scott!
I’m 43 and couldn’t agree with you more. Great article.
Great tips Scott..I shook my head at #1 because it’s so true… especially at Christmas parties. Happy B-Day dude and best of luck in 2010.Mike
Excellent stuff scott!(except you might be off a little with #21, things really do take a funny down turn around 35+; I’m convinced this is why the 18-35 yr old demographic, so exciting and sought after by advertisers, ends at 35. horomone shift or something.But sure as hell don’t listen to me, if you’re living large and fast now, you can blow by 35 without the slowdown!!)
I have to comment, at the very least because it’s my 31st birthday today of all days that I read this, and at the most that I whole-heartedly agree with almost everything you’ve written! Many of these things are thoughts I’ve solidified myself over the past summer and fall. I could go number by number, but I’ll just hit the bookends…What’s funny is that I’ve been saying #1 to people lately the past month, and only a few days ago that line from Shawshank Redemption has been running through my head.Great list, motivational and confirmational, I’m definitely watching those videos again. Thanks!
One big thing I’ve learned in my 31 years is this:If there is something going on that is discomforting, or negative, or whatever, there are really only two things you can do. You can either accept it or do something about it. If there’s nothing you can do about it, you have to accept it. If you simply cannot accept it, than do something about it! Bitching about it isn’t really an option, and is really just a cowardly way of not dealing with it.(Although I consider venting a valid option as part of the acceptance route. Venting is different than bitching though, as it’s a one time thing. Vent, then move on. Bitching is continual.)
Points well made. Congrats and happy Bday.
I hit 30 30 years ago and I think this is a great list, though I do think there is one omission: read for at least 20-30 minutes daily. I would have put that before a hobby (or it can be the hobby). Reading educates, entertains and takes you places in a way movies cannot. There are so many benefits to daily reading at all stages of life.
I love this list – thank you and happy birthday!
Scott,This is an awesome list, great job! I just turned 30 a few months ago and agree… most of what I’ve learned was really in the past 5 years!You’re an incredibly smart guy and I enjoy reading your blog from time to time. You really understand the TRUTH about fitness, nutrition and life. Very different than most of the other mainstream, luke warm bull shit that pervades our industry.Keep up the great work!-Elliott
Happy belated birthday Scott. I couldn’t agreet with you more on the lessons learned. I wished I had been smarter about life when I was 30.However one thing I’ve learned and come to believe is that you experience and learn things when its the right time for you to receive it. So, even though you wish you had the knoweldge you have now way back when, you probably weren’t ready for it or recognized its value. Life is a journey to be savored and you never want to hurry to reach your destination!
I heartily agree with the Anthony De Mello book recommendation.Do yourself a favor and go pick it up!
This is a great list – I wish I had learned some of these things by 30! Regards #21 – good luck – if you have not had any injuries, you may still be doing the same activities into your seventies. But age 30-35 are peak years for many, so go for it. And I disagree with #5 – I really wish I had not had this attitude, and maintained more of my friendships over the years.
Thanks everyone! Glad you enjoyed it. This was fun to put together.Geoff, I know things change, but I’m talking more about the notion that once you hit 30 (or 35 or 40), sports are out the window and you’re just “over the hill.” I mean, as far as things changing, I can’t abuse myself now like I could just 5 years ago. Though oddly, that makes me train smarter.arlojeremy, agree completely. My thought is, do something about it or accept it…but stop complaining to me about it!Sally, I actually thought of that one yesterday. It’s a good one…great way to learn and be entertained. Reading is one of my hobbies.lel, I like that. Very true. It’s fun to think about how life would’ve been if I knew at 20 what I know at 30, but at 20, I would’ve laughed at this list as ridiculous.Joan, I actually have had a few injuries, mainly to my left shoulder (7 dislocations and 1 surgery). So I avoid activities that endanger it (basketball and volleyball namely, both of which I loved) and go with sports that don’t (such as track and field). Regarding #5, I don’t mean to just let friendships go because you stop keeping in touch. Just that sometimes there comes a point where you hang onto friendships because you’ve known the person for however long rather than because you actually enjoy each other’s company any longer.CheersScott
Solid Advice Scott -Getting out of the comfort zone is a huge one. It seems everyone is focusing on comfort as opposed to growth. A viewing of Fight Club always gives me a nice kick in the pants.Here’s To The Next Thirty!
Scott, after reading Joan’s response I have to address #21.Having nearly 31 years on you, I can tell you that with rare exceptions (extremely serious injuries or illness) recovery is shorter and more complete when you’re younger than when you’re older. Wear and tear takes its toll after a while — but when it happens differs for everyone. I had many friends start complaining about the “effects of aging” in their late 30s and 40s — and I really didn’t know what they were talking about. I experienced none of it then. Made it through most of my 50s not understanding it, either. The closer I got to 60, though, the more I understood it. Recovery time is longer and less complete.One of the things I’ve observed is that the more active one is, the sooner the problems seem to occur. Like it or not, “wear and tear” takes a toll! The more active you’ve been and the more injuries you’ve had, the sooner it seems you have problems that interfere with daily living. At first, it may be like you experience now — just have to make a different choice in terms of the sports/activities you pursue. But it will start to affect daily life, probably sooner than you’d like or expect.There are exceptions to that, but that’s exactly what they are: exceptions.
I’ll hit 50 in a couple months, and what I wouldn’t give to have learned the health lessons I know now at 30. I’ve wrecked my body and it’s taking time to heal it. But I agree that aging doesn’t necessarily mean you have to grow old and join all the middle-aged people in front of the TV.Stress is so damaging, and many of your lessons deal directly with minimizing it. Happy Birthday!
30. I hate to be cliche and quote a movie, but Andy Dufresne might’ve said it best: “Get busy livin’, or get busy dyin’.”Hmm…didn’t the Shawshank Redemption, character “Red”, Morgan Freeman say that quote:Red: Get busy living, or get busy dying.Still one of my favorites.
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John,Red said it later in the movie, quoting Andy. The exact passage from the movie where Andy first said it is:Red: I don’t think you ought to be doing this to yourself, Andy. This is just shitty pipedreams. I mean, Mexico is way the hell down there and you’re in here, and that’s the way it is.Andy: Yeah, right. That’s the way it is. It’s down there and I’m in here. I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin.’
Sounds good either way! Still a great quote. Wish more people would follow it everyday!Happy Holidays!Dr. John
Congratulations Scott!!! Great list!Best wishes for an amazing 2010.Marc